The Real Meaning

After the match I began to change.  Rather than maintain my old furnace of emotions, I decided to make some simple modifications.  I was able to take my frustrations and turn them into the intensity and focus needed to be a competitor.  This level-headedness has translated into areas outside of my life as an athlete.  Most importantly, it has allowed me to keep small obstacles in perspective and enabled me to better focus on the big picture. 

         With my transformation into a more balanced and confident competitor also came a heightened sense of focus. I was never an unfocused person, but I found the approach I used on the court that day to block out distractions has helped me function more effectively in other areas as well, such as with my artwork and my academics.  The adjustment in focus is one of the most essential elements of unlocking my potential, which was previously blocked by externalities.  Athletes are continually looking for the upper hand, and for me the advantage was bringing to the court a sharper and stronger state of mind than my opponents did.   My reasoning was that, given the same physical capability as an opponent, my mental strength would give me the edge and allow me to eke out a victory.

         One of the biggest struggles I needed to overcome in order to reach the next level of tennis was to stop fearing my personal imperfections.  Too often I would get down on myself for making mistakes when I really needed to acknowledge the mistakes and make the appropriate adjustments.  Embracing human error took me to the next level.  Although it was a struggle, I finally realized that error is as much part of the game of tennis as the flawless shots.  Of course, I still knew that errors were bad, but I did not let them paralyze me.  Once I was able to do this, I started playing freely and naturally, and the number of errors significantly diminished.       

         Enduring a match that was far from ideal but successful nonetheless taught me many lessons that reshaped my approach to life.  Staring at the trophy, I suddenly realized that experiencing the process was the real prize.  I believe that the obstacles I encountered were put in my path for a reason.  How many times have I heard my parents say, “Life is not easy or fair”? The experience was about meeting a challenge, being resilient and managing adversity. Win or lose, this match would have been a memorable learning experience. Don’t get me wrong, I am proud to have won. But, it was the icing on the cake of life lessons. The experience provoked deep self-thought and reflection. Once all the fanfare over the victory died down, I began to “deconstruct” my attitude during the match. I had to confront my fear of failure -- not just in tennis, but in life. I had to reassign value to experiencing failure because I discovered it can be a pathway to growth. I’m not a social follower, but perhaps deep down I wanted peer group acknowledgement and a way to distinguish myself. I still seek distinction but I now know there are many avenues for this, and each effort does not have to carry the weight of the world and can still be pursued with passion. 

            In retrospect, this tennis match holds very little meaning in the larger scheme of life, but the experience helped me mature.  It introduced me to a type of emotional hardship that was eye-opening and gave me great clarity as I looked ahead to life after varsity tennis. Perfection is hard to find and maybe not all that interesting. The details of challenge and the application of creative approaches to problem solving are now intriguing to me. And mental toughness is one of my best assets -- win or lose.   Perhaps this match made me a realist: not everything works out the way you want all the time, but that is okay.